Today: We’re using that recap as a springboard into this week’s topic: Dealing with bad apples, bullies, and crazy people at work.

Let’s make one thing perfectly clear

Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl is weird, offensive, and insanely hyper-violent. It’s the kind of film you’d expect to not even exist except in some kind of fever dream.

Gallons of spurting blood… multiple graphic depictions of limbs being severed… exploding heads… a school-sponsored Wrist Cutters Club… blackface for no reason except to offend…

Director Yoshihiro Nishimura packs VGvFG with so many WTF moments that by the time the insane school principal (in full Kabuki gear, mind you) starts singing while playing guitar made from a spinal column, you’re either numb from shock or howling from laughter.

And that’s kind of the point.

VGvFG lampoons pretty much everything it touches, taking everything over the top.

Nishimura lives in a world where a severed artery can spray like a firehose and every human body contains approximately 100 gallons of blood. That’s his vision, and he’s sticking to it.

Some people at work are like that, too.

Just over the top. Everything is *so* dramatic, and they want to drag you into their personal soap opera.

Or maybe they’re a bully, using dirty tricks to distract you and achieve their own goals.

Or maybe you’re dealing with someone who has a screw loose, running hot and cold, so you never know where you stand with them.

What do you do as a Product Manager dealing with those types of personalities? How do you get work done with them or through them?

You embrace it.

Now, I don’t mean you respond in kind: If they’re acting like a jerk, you shouldn’t act like a jerk back. You’re a PM; you need to be better than that.

Much like Yoshihiro Nishimura, stay true to your vision of who you are and what you bring to the table. If you let your emotions take over, or you let yourself get pulled into the drama, you’re going to get distracted and make mistakes.

Stay calm. Keep focused. Expose the underhanded stuff to people who can do something about it. Stand up for yourself. And remember:

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.”
– Proverbs 15:1

Except in the most extreme cases, personal experience has taught me that if you meet craziness with calmness (instead of fear or equal craziness), you’ll be able to find the win-win scenario that works for the two of you and the business, as well.

And yes, for those keeping score at home…

I just combined J-horror, business psychology, and a little scripture into a single blog post. That’s me being true to my vision of me

New Around Here?

Subscribe to the feed to receive future updates; follow me on Twitter to keep the discussion going!

Next time: We’ll use this recap as a springboard into this week’s topic: Dealing with crazy people at work. And probably question our taste in movies.

< SPOILER WARNING >
Key plot points (if you can call them that) are pictured herein. You have been warned!
< / SPOILER WARNING >

The film begins with a simple, touching statement:

Which gives way to an insane battle between our protagonists — Monami the Vampire Girl (played by Yukie Kawamura) and her high school sweetheart Mizushima (Takumi Saito) — and three reanimated, battle-ready corpses. Once the frankengirls are (brutally) disposed of…

We flash back to happier times… Like when Monami gives Mizushima a Valentine’s Day chocolate after class. Unfortunately for him, the chocolate has a juicy center filled with Monami’s vampiric blood, and it changes him into a vampire, too.

Now bear with me.

Mizushima is the reluctant boyfriend of Keiko (Eri Otoguro)…

… who is the daughter of the school’s science professor, who just happens to moonlight as a Kabuki-clad Doctor Frankenstein….

… who is kidnapping students, killing them, and trying to reanimate them to little success.

Note: There’s another subplot about wrist-cutting which a) doesn’t fit into this recap and is b) really disturbing; you can read more about it here.

Meanwhile, Monami and Mizushima fall in love.

Keiko and her henchgirls don’t cotten to that, and a skirmish between Keiko and Monami on the roof of the school leaves Keiko accidentally splattered on the quad below.

Of course, by this time time Keiko’s dad has discovered the reanimating qualities of Monami’s blood and uses the blood to bring Keiko back to life.

And thus Frankenstein Girl is born. Or made.

Frankenstein Girl’s first order of business is kidnapping Mizushima and forcing a fight with Monami.

The final battle takes place on top of a fake Eiffel Tower near the high school…

… and Monami takes out Frankenstein Girl with bullets made of her own blood.

THE END

Next time: We’ll use this story recap as a springboard into this week’s topic: Dealing with crazy people at work.

New Around Here?

Subscribe to the feed to receive future updates; follow me on Twitter to keep the discussion going!

Bonus Content

Watch the bizarre, blood-soaked trailer for the movie on YouTube.

Tomorrow: We’ll use this story recap as a springboard into a discussion on the importance of weaving (ha! ha!) a compelling user experience for your product.

< SPOILER WARNING >
Key plotpoints of this goofy, disturbing, heart-breaking movie are pictured below. You have been warned!
< / SPOILER WARNING >

Customs agents discover a 20-foot container filled with human hair–and the body of a missing girl. In the morgue, Yamazaki, the deviant night watchman, discovers that the dead girl is growing hair at an incredible rate. He steals the body and harvests the non-stop hair for extensions which he sells to local salons.

Yuko is an up-and-coming hair stylist at one of these local salons. After a hard day at work, Yuko comes home to discover that her drunken half-sister, Kiyomi, has dumped her eight-year-old daughter, Mami, off at Auntie Yuko’s house–possibly forever.

Which can only be a good thing for Mami, as Yuko quickly deduces that Kiyomi is abusing Mami.

Kiyomi returns for Mami, and Yuko rebuffs her–but not before Kiyomi shatters Yuko’s self-confidence by dredging up painful secrets from the past.

Meanwhile, yes–the haunted hair extensions begin killing unsuspecting women as Yamazaki grows ever more demented–and comes into contact with Mami and Yuko, betraying a very strange attraction to their hair.

Kiyomi eventually kidnaps Mami. Kiyomi accidentally saves Mami by forcing her into a closet–just before the haunted hair extensions attack.

After Mami is released from the hospital into Aunt Yuko’s care, Yuko takes Mami to the salon for a makeover… and weaves (the unknowingly haunted) extensions into the little girl’s hair.

Later, the police arrive at Yuko’s salon, hot on the trail of the serial killer doling out extensions with the exact same DNA. That’s when Yuko realizes her mistake. She hurries home, only to find she’s too late!

Yamazaki kidnaps Yuko and Mami, bringing their unconscious bodies to his apartment… which is completely overrun with hair. When he angrily snips the hair extensions off Mami’s head, Yamazaki is destroyed by the ghost of the dead girl he’s been cannibalizing for hair extensions.

The dead girl finds peace, and Yuko and Mami vow to continue their journey to becoming world-class hairstyles.

THE END

Tomorrow: We’ll use this story recap as a springboard into a discussion on the importance of weaving (*sorry*) a compelling user experience for your product.

New around here? Subscribe to the feed to receive future updates. You can also continue the conversation on Twitter.

Bonus Content

Listen to Yamazaki sing about hair in this disturbing “Music Video Trailer” for Exte: Hair Extensions. Contains spoilers plus some really creepy imagery.

Once the young hero of the film, Tadashi, and a handful of Yokai understand the menace threatening them all, they convene a meeting with the other Yokai to enlist their aid.

Together, it is argued, they have a chance of winning. Separately, their chances of even just surviving are close to nil. The Yokai hem and haw and eventually reject Tadashi’s offer. How could Tadashi have run this meeting more effectively and maybe ended in his favor?

Meetings are a fact of everyday life for many people. For product managers, meeting management is a critical skill that often gets overlooked. Here are some tips on running a successful meeting:

1. Know Who To Invite. And Get Them To Show Up.
Tadashi invited a large group of Yokai to his meeting. Was that the right thing to do?

Knowing who to invite to a meeting is an essential element of meeting management. Some people treat meeting invitation like cc:’s to an email chain–the more the merrier. However, when it comes to effective meetings, generally, the opposite is true.

For a meeting to be successful, you need the right mix of people present to accomplish the goal of the meeting. You do not want, or need, anyone and everyone with an opinion on the matter. You want people with the correct depth of knowledge on the topic–who can make decisions–and execute the tasks assigned.

Make sure the people that you invite understand why they’ve been invited. If possible, before sending out an invite, call each person to inform them about the meeting and why their attendance is important. In your meeting invitations, be sure to include the purpose of the meeting–if you can’t summarize this in 100 words or less, stop what you’re doing and think really hard about whether this meeting is even needed.

Feeling bad about not inviting someone even though they’re not 100% germane to the conversation? Remember: People who are not required for the actual meeting can be kept in the loop via summary email or meeting minutes.

2. Guide The Discussion With A Clear Agenda
How many meetings have you been in that lacked a clear topic or point?

If you’re chairing a meeting, make sure you have an agenda–and, if possible, distribute the agenda 24 hours ahead of time so participants can gather their thoughts and be prepared for a fruitful discussion.

During the meeting, keep agenda points time-constrained. Don’t squander time arguing minutia or allowing long-winded people to dominate the conversation. Keep the meeting moving.

In the film, Tadashi gets big points for having a clear agenda: Join with us to stop Armageddon. So why does his offer get rejected?

3. Open Strong, Stay Strong
People (and Yokai) naturally dislike meetings because meetings are often tedious or awkward or lead to more work that you don’t want to do.

In the film, the Yokai who reject Tadashi’s offer are lazy… bored… scared. And Tadashi, frankly, does not inspire much confidence being, you know, twelve.

How can you ameliorate those kinds of feelings, and get the most out of your meeting’s participants?

Develop a good reputation as a meeting organizer:

• Start your meetings on time. Don’t waste the time of the people who show up when the meeting is scheduled to begin. This demonstrates respect for those who can meet their obligations and serves as a reminder to late-comers that you’re serious about sticking to the schedule.
• At the start of the meeting, review the agenda so everyone’s on the same page. And remember to thank everyone for attending–it’s another sign of respect, and a style point that helps develop your reputation in a positive way.
• During a meeting, it’s only natural for people’s minds to wander. Don’t let this happen: Be a role model for the kind of energy and participation others should demonstrate.

4. Stay On Topic
Many meetings have at least one participant who tends to drift. Sometimes it’s a tangent to the conversation. Sometimes it’s a complete non sequitur. Sometimes it’s a funny story that adds color but goes on for way too long.

Nip it.

Stay on topic.

But don’t be a jerk about it–just gently guide the discussion back to the agenda. Remember, you’re all in that room for a reason. Levity is fine, and stories related to the business at hand can be illuminating, but you must keep the meeting focused and prevent it from flying off the rails.

Not the chairperson for the meeting? Don’t let that stop you from helping to get the meeting back on track. Part of being a meeting participant entitles you to help keep things moving.

5. Close Effectively: Make Sure Everyone Knows What To Do Next
At the end of the meeting, summarize the key points, review the action items and assignments, and set the time for the next meeting. Follow up immediately with an email so everyone has that information in writing.

Want to earn more credibility as a meeting organizer? End your meetings on time! Triple bonus points if you can also end on a positive note.

Managing meetings effectively won’t necessarily make you the next Kirin Rider–or win you a magical horse/dragon to ride on–but it will make you a hero in the eyes of the people who attend your meetings.

Additional Meeting Management Resources

• The Seven Sins Of Deadly Meetings
• The 6 Golden Rules Of Meeting Management
• The ABCs Of Managing A Meeting
• BOMI International: Planning & Managing An Effective Meeting
• Free Management Library: Managing Meetings

< SPOILER WARNING >
Key plotpoints of this film are pictured below. You have been warned!
< / SPOILER WARNING >

A young boy named Tadashi moves to a small town after the divorce of his parents. During a local festival, Tadashi is crowned that year’s “Kirin Rider,” the defender of all children from evil spirits. Much to Tadashi’s surprise, this is not an honorary title. Soon, he’s befriending cuddly Yokai (spirits) like Sunekosuri, and even brandishing the mystical sword of the Kirin Rider.

Lord Kato is a demon who seeks revenge on the humans who consume everything in their path…

To destroy humanity, Kato becomes the world’s most evil recycler EVER–capturing innocent Yokai and turning them into mechanical monsters who seek (naturally) to destroy Tokyo.

Tadashi and a handful of brave Yokai attempt to convince the other good Yokai to fight Kato. But the others want nothing to do with it.

So Tadashi and friends hitch a ride back to Tokyo on the wing of an airplane…

… and fight alone against the hordes of Lord Kato.

Good News: The tears of the Rider can transform mutated Yokai back to normal…

Bad News: Those tears cannot actually heal the wounds mutated Yokai receive in battle.

Everything looks lost until a Magic Bean™ falls into Kato’s machinery, and blows his entire installation to hell…

… and the hero Tadashi rides off victoriously on his new horse/dragon.

THE END

Tomorrow, we see what “The Great Yokai War” can teach us about product management.

Bonus Screengrabs
This film features a number of special effects, ranging from Power Ranger-bad to really quite clever and disturbing. Some of the most memorable include:

• walls with eyes
• girls without faces
• women with unusually long necks
• robots with chainsaw hands
• needlessly graphic stabbing
• and a ghost mom carrying her dead infant

Rated PG-13 for a reason, folks.